


Catch A Breath

by TazWren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - You've Got Mail Fusion, At least I hope it is!, Awkwardness, Ben writes SW FF, Ben writes his feelings, Character Mention - Poe, Character mention - Kaydel, Character mention - Paige, Character mention - Rose, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gen, Maybe - Freeform, Online Friendship, Rabbiting does not mean an orgy, Reylo - Freeform, Romantic Comedy, Secret Crush, States of Undress, SwoloFic, The Writing Den February Prompt, The boi is so shy!, Valentine's Weekend, Virgin Ben Solo, Waffles is living the tropes!, we'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-29 22:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17816459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TazWren/pseuds/TazWren
Summary: Ben Solo is a fanfiction writer with a massive crush, which he does nothing about, on his housemate Rey.Until, that is, the time he writes about an awkward encounter involving him, Rey, a dark kitchen and very little clothing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpaceWaffleHouseTM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceWaffleHouseTM/gifts).



> When tropes meet [Waffles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceWaffleHouseTM/pseuds/SpaceWaffleHouseTM), this is what comes out of it. 
> 
> Waffles, I hope I did your prompt justice, babe... Enjoy!

 

“Did you even hear one word of what I said? Are you paying _any_ attention?”

“Hmm?” Ben hummed questioningly as he zoned back in and focused on his friend who was watching him with a mix of amusement and irritation. “Did you say something?” 

Finn snorted and shook his head as he leaned back against the booth. “No, nope, not a word. I’ve just been talking to myself for the past twenty minutes.” 

Ben blinked. “Why would you do that?” 

He yelped as Finn reached over and smacked his arm. “I was TALKING TO YOU, you giant nerd bucket! Now I’ll say this, real fast, before I lose you again… Rose’s sister. You and her. Date. Saturday.” 

“Um, what?” 

“Oh for Maker’s sake, Ben! Can you get your head of the clouds for a minute? Rose wants to set you up with her sister, who’s moving back here for school, and she wants you to take her out on Saturday. It's Valentine's weekend, in case you didn't notice, but this will be the day before D-day. So it's not like you're pledging your love or anything.” 

Wincing, Ben scratched at the back of his neck before squinting up at his friend. “Finn… I… you know I’m no good at all this stuff. And besides…” he broke off and looked away, a faint blush colouring his cheekbones. 

“Besides what? Besides the hottie you keep fantasizing after but doing nothing about? Dude, you either make a move or you move on… you can’t sit here in limbo like this. How long has it been since you got some?”

“It's not like that…” he fiddled with a spoon, not wanting to meet Finn’s eyes. He didn’t need to know that Ben had, in fact, _never_ gotten some. Which is why he was even in this situation to start with. If he’d been Poe, he’d be waking up in Rey’s bed by now! 

Ben frowned, not liking even the _thought_ of his brother in that situation with her. Not that he had any claim on Rey, but Ben sure as hell wished he did. Ever since the first time he saw her, at the start of the term when she’d answered an ad to rent the spare room that he and Poe had, Ben had been a goner. 

But Ben being Ben, he’d done nothing about his instant fascination with Rey. Nothing apart from helping her put up string lights across the ceiling in her room, or watching sappy movies with her on the nights she didn’t have to study or wasn’t going out, or plying her with hot chocolate and caramel popcorn on _those_ days when she just lay on the couch clutching a hot water bag. Nothing except cockblocking himself by being the best-damned _girlfriend_ a girl could ask for. 

He grimaced at the recollection, forgetting again that he was supposed to be replying to Finn’s question. 

“Listen, man, if you like this girl so much that you haven’t shut up about her for the past three months, you need to do something about it.” Finn leaned forward and pounded a finger in front of Ben’s coffee cup. “And I don’t mean write about it!” 

Ben glared up at Finn from under brows, growling, “I _don’t_ write about it.” 

“Yeah, sure you don’t. But funny how your _Kira_ sounds so much like Rey, don’t you think, _Kylo Ren_?” 

He should have _known_ it would be a mistake to let Finn know about his writing fanfiction. Only, Ben hadn’t been able to stop himself when Rose started gushing about a new SW fic on Ao3 by this one writer everyone was constantly rec’ing. So he’d opened his big mouth and sheepishly admitted that ‘Kylo_Ren’ was none other than Ben Solo, who was indulging his love for both the words and Star Wars in _only_ the best way possible.

“It's not like that, and I'm not talking about this anymore.” Ben said in a flat voice, sitting back, daring Finn to push the matter.

“You tell yourself that, okay? Now, are you going to take my girlfriend's sister out or no?” Finn challenged him right back. 

 _Ah, shit._  

Turning Finn down was one thing, Rose was a whole different matter. 

“I can't do Saturday, there's something I agreed to do already.” 

Finn cocked an eyebrow, “Ben Solo has plans? This I gotta hear… don't tell me it's with hottie roommate?”

Ben couldn't help flushing. Much as he wished it were so, his plans didn't involve Rey. They did involve another girl though. Or at least he hoped it was a girl, otherwise it would have been the weirdest chat he ever had with a guy.

He’d been chatting with this one person in particular, on Twitter for the past month or so since they first started regularly commenting on his fics. Slowly, they’d  gotten to a point where he looked forward to the messages they exchanged throughout the day. And sometimes late at night. But he wasn't about let Finn know or he'd never hear the end of it.

“I'm rabbiting with a bunch of people and we have a marathon planned,” Ben started to say then jumped back as Finn spat out his mouthful of coffee, “What the hell?!” 

Coughing as he wiped his face with some tissues, Finn shot Ben an incredulous look. 

“A marathon? With a _bunch_ ?” he squeaked, “Are you… are you having an _orgy_?!” 

“What? No! Why the fuck would you ask me that?!” 

“Dude… you said…” Finn paused then pulled out his phone and typed furiously before thrusting it in Ben's face, “Is that what you're gonna be doing?” 

Ben's eyes widened and he blushed furiously as he read what Finn was showing him. 

“Shit, no! How the fuck was I to know people called it rabbiting?! That is such a stupid name for it!” 

“Then what the hell _are_ you doing?” 

“I'm casting a movie marathon on rabb.it! Like, the website!”

Finn stared at Ben before dropping his head into his hand, “Oy vey!” 

“You're not even Jewish. You can't say that.” 

“It's the only thing that fits right now. Why did I even think… you know, you are such a dork! How am I even friends with you?” 

“You? What about me?! I'm the one who's been stuck with you since the first day of high school!” 

“Yeah, yeah, but _I_ make you look good!” Finn flashed a wicked grin at him. 

“Yeah, whatever man…” Ben glanced down at his watch before starting out of his seat, pulling some money out of his pocket to drop on the table, “Oh shit, I gotta run. Labs start in 15 minutes. Tell Rose I'm sorry!” And with a quick wave Ben bolted out of the diner.

 

**

 

>>thekoren: Can’t believe u never watched the PT!

>>sandrat: 😬 I don't think I was born when it came out! Only saw the OT last year as prep before watching TFA and TLJ

>>thekoren: 😶 dude...how have you never... Bluray, Netflix...

>>sandrat: yeah, well, I wasn’t allowed movies back then

>>thekoren:  😣😟😦

>>sandrat: Is cool...am watching them now. And with you. Which is way cooler.

>>thekoren: (*^*&%*(

>>sandrat: I mean it! ur the first writer in the fandom that I read and am still fangirling over u actually talking to me at all 🤩!

>>thekoren: You know this isn’t really talking. And how could I not? Yours were the most intelligent comments I got. You make sense and you have an amazing sense of humor.

>>sandrat: aaaaaaah 🙈

>>thekoren: seriously...I kid you not

>>sandrat: ok ok, don’t get all sentimental on me old man 😝 show me your precious PT

>>thekoren: who you callin’ old, yo?! I ain’t showin’ yu nuttin’ with that attitude

>>sandrat: 😝😘😇

>>thekoren: like that s’posed to make it ok?

>>sandrat: 😻😻😻

>>thekoren: not d cats!

>>sandrat: say you love me or I’ll bring the gifs

>>thekoren: FINE! But only becoz u threaten me wid cats. CATS! WHO DOES THAT.

>>sandrat: me, apparently. Wot’s ur beef with cats anyhow? My housemate doesn’t like cats either. No clue why.

>>thekoren: coz she’s smart, that’s why.

>>sandrat: He

>>thekoren: que?

>>sandrat: my housemate’s a he, not a she

>>thekoren: Oh. ok. Cool.

>>sandrat: ?

>>thekoren: nothing.

>>sandrat: you sure?

>>thekoren: yes.  of course I’m sure. Certain.

>>sandrat: you realize you use proper English when you’re worked up about something?

>>thekoren: I do not

>>sandrat: do too. I notice that whenever you’re caught up in discourse or you’re all serious.

>>thekoren: Oh. Well, everything’s ok. Nothing to worry about.

>>sandrat: Hmmm...if you say so. But you tell me if something isn’t, yeah?

>>thekoren: of course. Now shall we do this thang?

>>sandrat: nice try. But ok. So, should I go to your room?

>>thekoren: you want to come to my room? 😏😎

>>sandrat: shaddap and roll the movie, old man.

>>sandrat: No wait, lemme quickly grab some nosh before I settle in, gimme a hot sec.

>>thekoren: k, I’ll do the same then we can run these back to back for a bit.

>>sandrat: brb

 

**

 

Ben made sure he had the movie pulled up and then pulled his headphones off before getting up. It was a hot night and he’d already pulled his shirt off, the aging air-conditioning not keeping up with the balmy heat of the evening. Now, he just wanted to grab something cold to drink before he settled in for what promised to be a long watch. 

Pausing by the door he stopped to consider his bare torso before shrugging it off and stepping out of his room in just his shorts. Poe was out the whole weekend and, as far as he knew, Rey had some plans with a friend. So he had the house to himself. 

Or so he thought until he rounded the corner into the darkened kitchen and slammed to a halt, his eyes widening. And took in the sight of a near-naked Rey standing in front of the open fridge, the light of which was illuminating her long limbs in a yellow glow, not leaving much to the imagination.

He must have made a noise, for she spun around with a hand pressed to her chest.

“Shit! You scared me!” she exclaimed before she registered Ben standing in front of her, tits out so to speak. 

For a moment of suspended time, they both stood and stared at each other, mouths hanging open.

Much as he tried not to, Ben could not stop his eyes from flicking over Rey. The thin wrap dress that she wore, tied in a loose knot over her hip, clung and dipped around her form in a way that made his mouth run dry and left him breathless.   

Logically, he knew that she must have been feeling the heat just as much as he had been, for he’d never seen her outside of her usual uniform of leggings and t-shirts when lounging at home. Logically he knew many things.

Only logic had left the room and it was all Ben could do to wrench his eyes back up to her face, only to see that her own eyes had been wandering. He watched as, in the golden light of the still-open fridge, her cheeks tinted red and she bit her lip before looking back up. And then nervously looked away, not meeting his eyes.

Ben resisted the conflicting urge to both stick out his chest and cover himself up. Doing talking seemed like a good middle ground, just then. 

“Sorry, but I thought I was alone,” he offered, stealing glances at her, watching her fiddle with the tendrils of hair falling out of the messy bun piled on top of her head, an action that just drew the eye to the long line of her neck. Gulping, Ben realized that the blood was leaving his skull and heading… elsewhere. He stepped up behind the counter so quickly, he almost missed what she said.

“Well, you're not alone.” 

 _Did she just quote his favourite movie?_  

“Neither are you,” he replied immediately. He couldn't have stopped himself from responding if you'd paid him! 

“What?” She blinked at him, mouth parting before she snapped it closed. 

“What?” 

Rey shook her head quickly, a bemused look crossing her face, “Nothing, sorry… weren't you and Poe supposed to be out this weekend?” 

Ben grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck, “ _Poe_ is out, with Kaydel. I didn’t want to be a third wheel, so I stayed back.” He gave her a quick look before asking, “What happened to your friend?” 

“Oh!” Rey straightened quickly, as though realising something, “I told him I was just going to go get something to eat, I gotta…” She let her words drift off as she gesticulated towards her room.

 _Oh_.

 _She’d told_ ‘ _him’_. _There was a guy with her._ _In her room. Right now. And she was wearing… that._  

Ben felt like he'd been punched in the chest. Somehow he realized that his not speaking up would have eventually led to this. Of course Rey was seeing someone. How could she not be? 

Feeling like he was in a strange trance, he heard himself ask her if she needed him to leave. 

Giving him a strange look, Rey shook her head before grabbing a couple of snack packs from under the counter and snagging a bottle from the fridge as she turned to go. 

“'Nite, Ben,” she said softly as she crossed in front of him on her way out of the kitchen. For a moment her eyes searched his face, a faint furrow forming between her brows. 

His face felt like it was cracking as Ben summoned what he sincerely hoped looked like a smile. “Goodnight, Rey.” For some reason he decided to add a little wave as well. 

Rey looked from his face to his hand and back again. Then, she opened her mouth as though to say something before shaking her head again. She gave him a tight smile and then left. 

Ben stumbled back into his room, his need for a cold drink forgotten. Falling heavily into his chair, he dropped his head back and squeezed his eyes closed. 

Even knowing that Rey was, at that very moment, with another man he couldn’t help seeing her as he just had - lit from behind in the dark of the kitchen, the lines of her body showing clearly through the thin not-quite-a-dress-but-what-the-fuck-else-did-you-call-it she was barely wearing. Skin glowing, cheeks burning, biting her lip. 

And of course not-so-little Ben twitched in his pants. Groaning, he sat up and scrubbed his face roughly.

As though in response to his need for distraction, his laptop chimed, signaling an incoming message. 

 _Shit, he’d forgotten all about the movie!_  

 

>>sandrat: hey i’m back, good to go

>>thekoren: right, right. Give me a second, I’ll have the movie set up and ready to go.

>>sandrat: 👌 I’ll hop along to your room 🐰🐰🐰

>>sandrat: gettit?

>>thekoren: Sorry, what?

>>sandrat: Kylo! Hopalong? The Rabbit? Coz we’re gonna rabb.it?

>>sandrat: Wait, u ok? You’re using proper sentences again.

>>thekoren: Oh! Haha. No…

>>thekoren: I mean, yes… all ok. Just some stuff going on over here.

>>sandrat: Oh, ok. Are we still good to go? It’s ok if you can’t. 

 

Ben sat back and stared at the screen. A part of him wanted to take the out, but another part recognized that it was stupid to do so. And besides, he’d promised her the movie and she’d been so excited to watch it. With him.

 _At least someone wanted to spend time with him._  

Recognizing that he was being pathetic, Ben bit his lip before typing again.

 

>>thekoren: Waaaaa?! And miss seeing ur reactions? nodachance, baby!

>>sandrat: woot! 🤟

 

Tabbing over to the browser, Ben quickly got the movie started and sat back as it rolled. Thankfully, sandrat was one of those who watched in silence, not needing to constantly keep adding to the chat stream every two seconds. He imagined that if they were actually in a theatre, she’d be one of those people who sat at the edge of their seats, leaning forward with eyes wide open as they fell into the movie. And then she’d turn to smile at him, and it was Rey’s face smiling. 

 _He couldn’t do this, it was going to kill him. He needed to get out. He needed to…_  

Ben’s eyes fell on the notebook he used to jot down story ideas as they came to him. That was it. He needed to write. He needed to lose himself in the words so he could get over… _this_. 

A quick glance at the screen showed him that the movie was progressing without a glitch, and there were no incoming messages. Pulling the book towards him, Ben took his pen in hand. He stared at the blank page for a moment as he let the words build behind his eyes. Then, bending his head to it, Ben gave himself over to them and let his pen take him where it would:

 

_‘You’ve taken over_

_my every thought,_

_my every waking moment,_

_my every dream._

_When I am with you,_

_I can't catch a breath._

_When I'm away from you,_

_I'll never breathe again._

_You are the Sun,_

_and I can only orbit you._

_Be mine - I want to say,_

_stay mine - I want to beg._

_I can only watch as you walk away.’_

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Dalzo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalzo/pseuds/Dalzo/works), my mad friend, thank you for the beta and for everything you've unconsciously contributed to on the convo 😉💖 ... and ofcourse, for Jar Jar!

                                                   

 

 

Easing into her room, Rey shut the door and leaned back against it. Huffing a deep breath, she glanced down at herself before wincing. The damned wrap dress barely covered the essentials - what must Ben have thought, catching her in this ridiculous thing!

Of course, he hadn't been doing much better with the heat that _she_ had, going by the eyeful she'd got. Who'd have thunk that quiet, sweet Ben was a ripped Greek God under those loose t-shirts he chose to wear. Remembering how the light, from behind her, had gilded those firm-looking pecs and biceps in that darkened kitchen, Rey bit her lip and flushed.

_What nonsense. Stop objectifying the poor guy. He's never had any interest in you that way!_

Squelching the line of thought, with a familiar pang of regret, Rey turned her mind to the other guy who was actually waiting for her.

Hurrying to the desk and keying open her chat window, Rey shot a message off to Kylo.

 

>>sandrat: hey i’m back, good to go

 

In the minute it took him to reply and get the movie set up, Rey found herself thinking of this man who'd become another constant in her life. All they'd ever done was chat on Twitter, but through the many weeks, since she first commented on one of his stories, a swift connection had formed. At least, that's what _she_ thought. A connection built on mutual interest, respect and not a little flirty banter.

She'd never been this uninhibited, in real life. There was something about both being able to bare your soul and yet maintain the privacy of your identity online that lent an exhilarating amount of freedom to interactions.

_Not that anything would ever come of it. They were just… friends._

A regret, not unlike what she had just felt about Ben, washed over her as she read what Kylo was typing on the screen, his seriousness, his focus evident in even a few words. Words that instantly flipped to put her at her ease, anytime she expressed concern. It was almost as though he was determined to keep that little bit of distance between them.

Sighing, Rey pushed the morose thoughts away, determined to enjoy this time she had with Kylo. Even if it was watching a movie together from however far away.

 

**

 

It was the chiming of her email app that woke Rey the next morning. Groggily lifting her head she squinted at her phone to see that it was well past 9. Though, considering how late she’d stayed up watching the entire trilogy with Kylo, she was ready for a few more hours of sleep. Checking the notifications Rey’s eyes widened in delight as she saw that it was for a new one-shot posted by Kylo_Ren.

_The sneaky bugger!  He was probably writing the whole time!_

Rey set the phone aside and turned back into her pillow with a smile, looking forward to having something new to read when she was finally ready to be up.

While Rey was all set to sleep the morning away her stomach, on the other hand, had other plans for her. She had been so absorbed in the movies, Rey had actually forgotten to get some proper food the night before. Although, if she was being honest, it was the prospect of encountering Ben after their last, strangely charged, encounter that had kept her to her room.

Groaning, she hauled herself out of bed and glared down at her growling stomach as she dragged herself to the bathroom.

“Oh shut up, it’s not like I starve you every day!” she mumbled around her toothbrush.

Washing the sleep out of her eyes, Rey finally gave in to the grumbling tummy and poured herself some cereal and milk. Propping herself against the kitchen counter, Rey wished she was having a hot breakfast instead, but then again, since her one skill was burning water she was in no shape to attempt anything. Especially since the breakfast she _really_ wanted was the one Ben normally made for her. Those fluffy scrambled eggs with chives, or maybe french toast with cinnamon sugar, or maybe some fruit-topped waffles….oh, she _really_ wanted waffles just then.

With a sigh, Rey dropped the spoon back into the dregs of milk left at the bottom of the bowl. She mournfully contemplated the few floating bits of cereal she really couldn’t be arsed to scoop up.

_Oh well, at least she had fic to read. Some upside there…_

Making herself a mug of hot builder's tea, Rey curled up in a corner of the couch and logged onto Twitter.

 

>>sandrat: guess what woke me up today?

>>sandrat: u wrote fic while we were rabbiting?? rüde!!

>>sandrat: 

 

 

Not really expecting a response given that he'd been up just as late as she had, Rey tabbed over to Ao3 and went to her inbox. Just as she was about to click on the link for the new fic, a DM landed with a chime prompting her to flip back quickly.

 

>>thekoren: Shit, I forgot you get notifications when I post! Sorry 😬

>>sandrat: You SHOULD be sorry! How boring was I that you had to write during the movie? AND WAKE ME UP AS WELL?!

>>thekoren: 😶

>>thekoren: shit

>>thekoren: I didn't mean you were boring.

>>thekoren: Just...I've seen those movies so many times. And...I had words. That just...needed to be written.

>>thekoren: ?

>>thekoren: please don't be mad.

 

Rey chortled into her tea - she really was being wicked, letting Kylo think she was serious.

 

>>sandrat: 🤣 OMG, im not mad, old man… im just trolling u!

>>thekoren: 😶

>>thekoren: you are an evil, EVIL rat. And you're being very bad.

 

Rey paused, her grin slipping a little as she contemplated his words.

_Was there…? Did she sense a hint of something more than just their usual borderline flirting?_

She couldn't resist poking at the line a little bit - this seemed like the most action she was doomed to see.

 

>>sandrat: what are you going to do about it? 😏

 

Rey bit her lip and watched as the three dots indicating Kylo's typing showed. And stopped. And showed again. And stopped again. But no words appeared.

_Shit. What if she'd poked too hard?_

When the words finally arrived, Rey let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. And realized she had no idea how to respond.

 

>>thekoren: what would you like me to do about it?

>>sandrat: 😏😎

>>thekoren: yeah, I have NO idea what that means

>>sandrat: it means I am ✈️✈️✈️

>>thekoren: what?

>>thekoren: why?

>>thekoren: where?

>>sandrat: awwww….will you miss me, old man?

>>thekoren: Always.

 

Rey blinked at the speed at which that last response landed.

_Huh._

_That sounded like him being serious again._

Rey didn't know what to do with the flutter she felt at the words, though it was accompanied by a pang that this wasn't Ben saying that to her. Maybe it was time to cool things a bit.

 

>>sandrat: awww 😊

>>sandrat: am off to read your fic 😝

>>thekoren: Ah! Off you go then… shoo

>>sandrat: Should I live tweet 😏

>>thekoren: God! NO!

>>thekoren: Not on the main TL, please. Come on here and give me your reactions.

>>sandrat: So SERIOUS again! Ok, not on main. I'll yeet to you. But why not? If I can ask?

>>thekoren: this one is… I'm a little sensitive about it. 😬

>>sandrat: don't worry boo, I gotchu

>>thekoren: thank you.

>>thekoren: And yes, tell me what you think. Pls tell me it's not totally sappy nonsense.

>>sandrat: Kylo Ren wrote sappy nonsense?! Squeeeeeee!! ✈️✈️✈️

 

Unable to curb her curiosity any longer, Rey flipped over to the open page with his fic loaded and ready to go. Grinning, she took in the title: I Only Watch As You Walk Away. _Someone_ was in the mood for all the Valentines nonsense.

As she read her way through the short fic, though, Rey's brow furrowed and her smile slipped. Something about the scene she was reading…

Her heart started thudding, the further she read, her eyes widening as she went. She wasn't able to make sense of what she was reading, though she forced herself to read all the way through to the end in the hope that things would become clear. However, she was left even more… confused? Disturbed? Incredulous? She had no idea what to put to the feeling roiling in her just then.

For what Kylo had written, and in a style so very different from his usual, looked extremely and absolutely like her encounter with Ben from the night before. Only, more… well, _more_.

She skimmed back up the last few paragraphs to read again, chewing her lip as she did.

_There! That bit. It was what had happened, and yet… that description…._

 

_“...Matt slammed to a halt as he entered the galley, his eyes growing wide as he took in Kira's barely clad form. Her back was to him, and the light in front of her was outlining every line of her lithe, beautiful form to his undeserving eyes._

_He drew in a pained breath as everything he'd ever felt for the infuriating woman, but kept pushed so far below the surface as to appear almost sterile to her, came bubbling up with a vengeance. The assault on his senses continued when Kira turned at the sound of what must have been a startled curse leaving his slack mouth._

_Maker! Seeing her face-on was even worse, for Kira wore one of those ridiculous dresses made from a sarong or some such other minuscule scrap of cloth. And what was left covered only stoked the imagination. He wanted to peel her out of the damned thing._

_'Oh! I didn't realize you were around!’ Kira looked at him curiously as he struggled to bring his breathing under control._

_'Is there something you can put on, a cowl or something?’ he asked, his voice tight and low._

_'Why? What's wrong with this?’ she looked down at herself with an innocent expression on her face, 'Does it bother you?’_

_Matt stepped forward, once, twice, then again till he was almost toe-to-toe with her. Tipping her chin up, his eyes bored into hers, as he said in a low, dangerous voice, ‘Kira, you have to know what you're doing to me. You can't be that oblivious.’_

_‘Maybe I need you to tell me, Matt.’ She returned his gaze with one that was darkening to match him._

_Matt…”_

 

Rey sat back, eyes wide, breathing hard. No, she hadn't been mistaken. That… had an uncanny resemblance to what had happened. Almost as though Kylo had been there to see it. Almost as though…

The idea growing in her mind was so unbelievable, yet nothing else could explain it.

With trembling hands she flipped over to Twitter, where Kylo waited to hear from her.

 

>>sandrat: Kylo, _what_ was that scene?

>>thekoren: Oh God, it was terrible wasn't it. I knew I shouldn't have posted it. I'm going to take it down.

>>sandrat: wait, WAIT.

>>sandrat: It wasn't bad. It was bloody fucking good.

>>sandrat: But what _was_ it? Where did you get that idea from?

>>thekoren: thank you for saying that, but I think I'm still going to pull it down, now that I'm feeling more sane. Don't know what I was fucking thinking!

>>sandrat: KYLO!

>>thekoren: Right! Sorry...rambling. promise you won't laugh.

>>sandrat: promise.

>>thekoren: That actually happened to me last night.

 

Rey stared and stared at the screen, the words not making any sense - it _couldn't_ be. Could it?

 

>>sandrat: what do you mean?

>>thekoren: Ok, but don't judge me. last night when you went to grab some food before we started the movie? I went to grab something, as well, and ran into my housemate. I thought I was alone at home, and I guess she did too 😬

>>sandrat: … and??

>>thekoren: And she was wearing one of those skimpy thinggys that might as well not be there. And I think my brain might have short-circuited… God, I think I even waved at her.

>>sandrat: Soooo… what you wrote… that's all you? Or is that just fiction?

>>thekoren: FML

>>sandrat: 👀??

>>thekoren: That… was all me. God, I'm pathetic aren't I? I had so many chances to tell her how I felt, and I fucking blew it.

 

_It was Ben, it had been Ben… all along!_

 

>>sandrat: how? what happened?

>>thekoren: I think I managed to friendzone myself. Pretty sure she doesn't see me as anything else. And last night she had a guy over. So I'm too late to do anything but fucking write about it.

>>thekoren: Like I said, pathetic

 

_He thought she'd had a guy over? Why would he…_

 

Rey froze as she replayed the conversation from the night before and groaned as she realized how it must have come off to Ben. Now, _now_ that odd look on his face made sense.

_He'd said it was all him - what he wrote in the fic - he meant all that for her._

She tabbed back to the open page, and her eyes caught on the poem:

 

_‘Be mine - I want to say,_

_Stay mine - I want to beg._

_I can only watch as you walk away.’_

 

Rey lowered the phone and took a deep, steadying breath. What had initially seemed like some sort of a cosmic joke was slowly starting to feel like serendipity. Like it was meant to be. Except she and Ben had been too… blind? timid?

If she was reading him right, and she really hoped she was, they had wasted so much time. Time that had been spent looking longingly at a retreating back and wishing things were different. If Ben had sat on his hands, well then, so had she. She'd never imagined someone like him could feel something for her. And so she'd kept things friendly, and bright, no matter how much she'd wanted more.

Then, there was Kylo, whose wit and intellect and compassion had captured her attention. It all made sense now - ofcourse she's felt drawn to the online persona of the very guy she liked for real.

If this wasn't the Universe flashing a big old sign at her saying, 'Here's your chance! Take it, dammit!’ then she didn't know what it was. No more vacillating and dreaming of if-only. It was time to make this real.

Having made up her mind, Rey finally paid attention to the incessant dinging of her phone.

 

>>thekoren: ?

>>thekoren: did I lose you?

>>thekoren: right, I don't blame you if you feel weirded out by that.

>>thekoren: Just… forget I even said anything. I'm going to delete that damned testimony to my attaining loserhood.

>>thekoren: wow - nothing to say even to that? I really did a number didn't I?

>>thekoren: Fuck

>>thekoren: Listen, I'm sorry. I'm just going to stop now.

>>sandrat: wait.

>>sandrat: you didn't lose me.

>>sandrat: I'm right here. I was always here.

>>sandrat: open the door.

>>thekoren: what?

>>sandrat: Ben, open your door.

 

Rey stood in front of Ben's door, her hands trembling despite the confidence she felt in what she was about to do. After all, this was Ben! She was nervous about how he would react, despite everything she'd read of his feelings.  

Seeing how there was no response to her last message, Rey knocked on the door. Again, there was silence, so she took a fortifying breath, turned the knob and pushed the door open.

Ben's head whipped around, from where he was sitting at his desk, slack-jawed as he took in the sight of her standing in his doorway. His eyes were disbelieving, his hair standing up in spikes as though he'd been repeatedly running his fingers through it, yanking on the strands as he did so. He'd apparently remained in the same state of dress, or undress, as she had, for his body was still gloriously on display.  

As Rey slowly stepped into the room, he flushed, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Slowly getting up from his chair, Ben took a step towards her before he stopped, his hands clenching and loosening by his side. She had never seen him look so nervous. Hell, _she'd_ never felt this nervous.

Ben watched Rey turn to shut the door behind her. For a beat she stood with her hand against the door, hair swinging forward to hide her face. She bit her lip - this was it, now or never. Stepping around, quickly, she looked up at him, unsurprised to see he hadn't moved from where he stood.

Keeping her eyes on Ben, she closed the space between them, stopping when she was less than a foot away. Her heart was beating so hard, she could barely hear over the thudding in her ears. Rey knew he felt it too, if the pulse jumping at the base of his throat was any indication.

Clearing his throat, Ben started to speak, “Rey, I can explain...”

Rey reached up and pressed the fingers of one hand against his lips, shaking her head as she did.

“Don't need an explanation. Just tell me, did you really mean all that? Do you like me, Ben?”

Her heart hammering as she waited, Rey watched Ben's eyes search hers, dark and intent. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding when he huffed against her fingers and then nodded. Wrapping his large hand around hers, he drew it down and held it against his chest that rose on a shuddering breath.

“I do Rey, I can't think straight for how much I do. I'm sorry…”

Ben's mouth tightened and he made to step away.

“Wait...why are you sorry?” Rey stepped closer, pressing her hand against him, trying not to be distracted by the feel of the warm, hard muscle under her palm.

He gave her an incredulous look and his mouth gaped a little. While gobsmacked was an adorable look on him, she needed him to get with the program and quickly.

“You think I was with another guy last night, don't you?”

He gave her a hesitant nod, his eyes wary.

Rey stepped even closer, leaving barely any space between them as she ran her other hand up his chest to stroke his cheek, not able to resist teasing him even now, watching as shock flashed in his eyes.

“You're right, I was,” she breathed, offering him a small, tight smile, “I was with Kylo Ren last night.”

Rey could feel his breath catch as he registered what she said. A slow hope bloomed in his eyes, but she could still see the hesitation in him. After all, only his feelings were out in the open.

“Did you think I wouldn't feel the same way?” she asked softly, curling her hand around his neck, her thumb stroking the pulse point under his jaw.

The wonder in Ben's eyes as he looked down at her made her flush, suddenly feeling shy after the past moments of boldness. Before she could duck, he finally moved, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her against him, letting go of her hand to card his fingers through her hair and cradling her head in his palm.

“You sure about this, sandrat? I'm not letting you go once you say yes.” Ben's lips hovered a scant inch above hers, waiting. The hand at her waist tightened, bunching the thin cloth between his fingers. All traces of his earlier hesitation were gone as heat kindled in his gaze.

Rey grinned up at him, feeling an answering heat coil within her in anticipation. She tugged him closer, reaching up to brush her lips against his.

“Shut up and kiss me, old man!”

 

**

 

It was not all that early the next morning when Poe let himself into the apartment, dropping his overnight bag by the door before toeing his shoes off and padding into the kitchen, stopping short at seeing it empty. Going over to Ben's door, he bent his ear to it before knocking softly. When he got no response, Poe eased the door open and stuck his head in.

He grinned at the sight in front of him - his brother sprawled on the bed, one arm wrapped around a slumbering Rey, with just a thin sheet covering their modesty.

Quietly, Poe withdrew, shutting the door softly as he did.

“About bloody time!” he declared before he sauntered into his own room.

 

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waffles, may you continue to inspire the maddest of capers 😘
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](twitter.com/wrentaz) and [Tumblr](tazwren.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Big love to [Dee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deedreamer/pseuds/deedreamer) for betaing this!
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/WrenTaz) or [Tumblr](https://tazwren.tumblr.com)


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